Category: Daily Thoughts

Depression Strikes Again!

It hurls back to you like a boomerang. Always reminding you the worthlessness, hopelessness, restlessness, and sadness. Sometimes you believe everything it says to the point you become frozen in one place. Always feeling depressed. It tends to take all your energy so you feel restless. There are days you want to give up. You know you have been fighting for a good life more than most people. You know you have to fight for your happiness twice as hard than most people. You know you have to survive this illness before it consumes you.

There are always those moments when you think it controls you. You think it is an enemy that plays with your mind. It is only a enemy if you want it to be. The enemy line that you hope you won’t cross again but, in the end, you do cross it. Always feel trapped in one spot. Just frozen and scared.


Am I Delusional?

Always confused

Always uncertain

Always worried

Always stressed

Always hoping

Yet I feel hopeless

Always trying

Yet I fail

Always not knowing who I am

Sometimes I think I’m delusional

because I forgot what I want.

I want to burn that bridge!

So I can move on. So I can finally live on my own. So I can be alone. So I can be someone that I want to become without other’s expectation, particularly my parent’s expectations. I want to know who I am. Figure myself myself out while not living with my parents. I know. I know. I sound like a selfish millennial. Guess what. I am selfish. I don’t deny it. I am selfish. At this point of my life, I think it’s okay to be selfish so I can finally do something for myself instead for someone else. I want to burn that bridge between my family and I so I can finally be who I am. I should be more appreciative to my parents. Let’s just say I’m stubborn and resentful to my parents. At this point, I don’t care. That bridge needs to be burned! It needs to be burned and never build again!

2016 Baby!

Happy new years everyone!

I know it was late but better late than never, right? So here I am. Alive and well. I just started Winter quarter yesterday, on Monday. I felt like I made some progress in my life. Finally! I finally got my driver’s license and got a job while attending college. I finally think that I can do something with myself. So I will continue chasing my dreams and trying to be realistic along the way. Now my new years resolution is to basically save enough money to rent a apartment. Wish me luck!

Good luck to achieve your new years resolution(s)! ^_^

Two weeks in

The first two weeks of school including work was decent. I guess. I’m starting to learn about German grammar. I must admit that I’m confused on grammar than English grammar. Oh boy. I have a feeling I might suffer in that class. So I’m assuming I might get at least a B in that class.

For some reason I’m starting to feel depressed this week. My work starts tomorrow so I hope it won’t affect my job performance. Although, it had been affecting my school performance lately. I hope it won’t too much to the point that I can’t function well enough for school or else I have to switch to another degree.

My classes start next week!

I’m taking Fiction Writing, Media Writing, and German level 1 this fall. I’m hoping to get straight A’s this quarter. I really need good grades for my associate’s degree before I graduate and transfer to another university. I must admit that I’m uncertain about everything, especially for my career endeavors. Anyway! I’m starting to get out of topic. Technically, I’m going to graduate ¬†this fall. However, I did not complete prerequisites for UW-Seattle and foreign language.

It has been 3 weeks!

I finally feel like I’m making some progress in my life for the first time! I somehow got the job, which I enjoy doing with great benefits. I finally got my driver’s license last week. I think I can able to manage working and studying at the same time. My parents think that I will fail, but I don’t care what they think. I know I can do it just by focusing what needs to be done. Wish me luck everyone!