Category: College Life

Puzzling My Mind

I received my transfer degree diploma 8 months ago. Whenever I look at it, I still feel empty. I felt like I didn’t accomplished anything and still not knowing what I want to do. I know it’s normal to feel this way but I’m just so jealous of people who already know what they want to do and striving for it. I feel like I’m left behind. The last person. Should I still consider of transferring even though I haven’t wrote anything for my transfer essay? Or should I continue going to college I’m still attending.

I’m here.

Hi everyone! Don’t worry. I’m still alive. I’ve been busy with work and school that I haven’t posted anything on this for awhile now. What changed since then? Well I dropped out two of my classes, which is media and fiction writing. I decided to drop out of those two classes because I wanted to do well in my German language class. Since it’s a morning class, I have a hard time paying attention to the materials but I’ve been trying to get myself more awake though. The grammar is tricky in German which is one of the main reasons why I dropped out my other two classes. Work is not bad. However, I sometimes feel depressed every once in awhile. Once I’m depressed, I’m depressed. I just hope it doesn’t affect too much on my job performance.

Finally, everything is pretty good. I’m working where I love and learning something new everyday. So everything is better than last year. Although, my motivation for writing had been dry since I started working. I’m worried about it because writing is the only thing that gave me passion into something.

I got my grade back.

I’m slightly disappointed at myself.

Overall, I did great. There is this one class I did terrible at. Meaning I got a D this quarter on Human A&P. I must admit that I wasn’t juggling my priorities straight because I was constantly distracted by a lot of things, particularly with the group project. I need to retake that class to get a B next time. Luckily, I know what materials will be covered. I just need to find a study strategy that can reinforce the materials into my memory.

Oh well. Better luck next time.

I need your help!

I have an assignment for my Technical Writing class about writing a proposal on internship in the writing/editing field. I need someone, who is already an intern in the writing/editing field, to interview. So if you know anyone please contact me!

Very much appreciated! Thanks!

Updates about what has been going on

Hi everyone! I know I have been quiet lately. I know I posted random articles on my blog but rarely anything personal. So here are some things that has been going on with me:

  • For the first time ever, I am not doing well in my English class. I’m usually good at English class, but with Technical Writing  not so much.
  • I have been feeling more depressed than ever, which is the basic reason why I didn’t post anything personal. It has been affecting my studies so I’m definitely not ready for my next exam for my Human A&P class.
  • Since I’m taking Archery class this quarter, I’m frustrated and giddy about the class because it is the only class that is least stressful, well kind of. I’m trying to shoot the perfect target, which is my goal in Archery class.
  • For the last two weeks, I keep feeling that I’m not myself as I used to so I have been procrastinating with almost everything. Also, I’m concerned about my grades for this quarter. I need to focus on my goal.
  • I did some research on internships and summer programs. So I will apply to a summer volunteer program at a near hospital. I will also apply to a part-time job while taking 3 classes. So wish me luck!

My Parents Vs. Me

Quite frankly, I do not want to include my parents in my career plans because I know they will somehow take over and influence my decisions. I want to decide for myself and not for them. I’ve been pushed around enough to say that I need my own time and space to take time to think for myself.

Every time I talk about this, I keep remembering my middle school years. From my parents’ perspective, I was a hard-working, smart child who helped out their restaurant and janitor business. Yes, I got good grades at the time. However, in the end, I became depressed. I remember of going along of what my parents wanted me to do. I felt like my identity didn’t matter. All I remember is feeling numbness and the nothingness inside me. That is all I can remember.

Now I’m in college and I don’t want to feel that way anymore by doing something instead of doing nothing. Although, I must admit that I say this a lot of don’t do much. I keep thinking to myself that I just need to live in a different and new environment to help me to grow as a better person, which is a cliche thing to say.

Even though I still blame my parents, I don’t want to do that anymore because I know they tried their best. I just blame myself for choosing this way of life. Of course, blaming myself is not going to help me.

I just need a good distraction to keep me sane.